Thursday Night Diary: Kinda Weird Edition

So I decided to attempt to do a diary of last Thursday night.  This is the result, with annotations to try to explain what the hell actually happened.  I apologize for the short length of the entries from that night, but typing about what your doing on a cellphone while you’re out drinking for your blog seems progressively dumber by the minute while it’s happening.  Hence the annotations.

6:42 pm: Standard pregame of Nazi Zombies, absinthe and beer.  Family size box of mac and cheese not sitting well.

So I brought back a bottle of absinthe from Italy like every American college kid to visit Europe ever, and decided since last week was one of the last Thursdays in college for a lot of my friends, we might as well go out with a bang.  Throw in some beers and some Nazi Zombies, and suddenly you’re having yourself a real nice little night.  Who knows, maybe we’ll even hang out with some girls tonight?  As for the family size box of mac and cheese, I have no excuse for that.  

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I’ll Take You Right Into the Dangerzoneeeee

Well after a horrendous week full of pretending to not be a lazy degenerate, the weekend is finally here.  Praise Allah, because if I had to give one more goddamn powerpoint presentation I was gonna snap and permanently move into the mountains and just live out my life stockpiling weapons and food for the zombie apocalypse.

Anyways, this may be entirely too ambitious, but I’m going to attempt to keep a running diary tonight of a standard Thursday night adventure into R.J. Bentley’s Filling Station, right here in College Park, MD.  Of course the odds of this succeeding are about as high as De Moss getting into medical school, but for the sake of literature and science, dammit I’m giving it a shot.  Rev up the engines and lets gooooo…..

Day Drink

(I know this is two words, but its sorta not I guess…shit)

As spring comes into full swing, it becomes increasingly difficult to not notice that anytime a Friday or Saturday afternoon is semi-sunny and above 70 degrees, suddenly half the people you know start aggressively drinking and blasting music.  Maybe this is reflective of the pathetic people who I surround myself with, maybe it’s reflective of the downfall of modern American youth.  I don’t really give a shit.

But holy horseshit does it piss me off when I hear people say things like, “You gonna day drink today?”  Or the horrible, horrible (usually from girls) “I was at day drink before and…”

Now don’t get me wrong, drinking during the day when it’s nice outside is phe-fucking-nomenal.  Not only are there a ton of great activities you can do, the weather is great, the girls are wearing less clothes and god it just feels good sometimes.  But shit, the term day drink(ing) is just so dumb.  It’s like saying instead of going out to dinner you went “night eating.”  Like somehow including the time of your drinking makes it anything different.  If I call you at noon and you’re slurring all of your words and dropping racial slurs every other sentence, I can connect the dots.  You don’t need a PhD to know if somebody has a BAC north of 2.0.

Listen, drinking is drinking, no matter what time it is.  Drinking a fifth of bourbon at 2pm and staggering around drunk outside is just mildly less confusing for you than doing so at night, not much more.  If you’re ashamed that you’re drinking 15 beers while its daylight on a weekend and have to give it some cool name, don’t do it.  Everyone’s got their vices, and some people just enjoy walking around shitfaced while normal people are at work and are being productive.  It’s obviously awesome, so embrace it and tell people you’re drinking.  Leave the time out of it.