Getting McGangbanged

Pretty much every fast food chain has its own “secret menu”. Some items the gracious workers will prepare for you, but sometimes your request is just too immoral for their minimum wage souls to handle.  Requests such as…the McGangbang.

The McGangbang has become sort of an internet phenomenon in the last few years.  Many blogs have featured this beast, and as soon as I heard about it, I had to try it.  For those of you without high blood pressure, a McGangbang consists of The McChicken sandwich combined with a double-cheeseburger from McDonald’s.  As both of these items are on the dollar menu, this is a perfect way to satiate your need to not reach your 60th birthday while also being frugal.

Yeah we got Mcnuggets too. Dammit.


As I said before, the McDonald’s employees will refuse to put this all together for you, at least in College Park, MD.  No worries, luckily I’m basically college educated/a man so assembling a sandwich is almost as natural as playing sports and driving for me.  Now other people sometimes leave all four pieces of bread on this bad boy, but in the interest of cutting carbs, I took the McChicken’s top bun off.  Then I threw on some fries and smothered on some sweet and sour sauce.  Yeah, whatever.  The result was this bad boy:



At first bite, you are sort of overwhelmed.  So many flavors hit you at once, it’s hard to tell exactly what you’re eating.  Sort of like if you threw a few types of meat into a blender, thats about all I can say about the taste.  I can compare it to combining different Starburst flavors together, if Starburst were made of over-processed meat and carbs.

Perhaps the best way to describe the McGangbang, though, is from

“It’s kind of like having a threesome with two ugly chicks. While it’s happening you’re stoked, because hey threesome!!! But once you’re finished it kinda sinks in about what you’ve done.”

The agony you will feel in your stomach cannot be accurately described in words.  If you’re a guy, it’s about equal to getting kicked in the nuts with a steel-toed boot.  For the ladies. it’s like getting roundhouse-kicked in your throat.  Is it worth it?  Yeah sure, why not.  Just be sure you’re near a bathroom afterwards.