Day Drink

(I know this is two words, but its sorta not I guess…shit)

As spring comes into full swing, it becomes increasingly difficult to not notice that anytime a Friday or Saturday afternoon is semi-sunny and above 70 degrees, suddenly half the people you know start aggressively drinking and blasting music.  Maybe this is reflective of the pathetic people who I surround myself with, maybe it’s reflective of the downfall of modern American youth.  I don’t really give a shit.

But holy horseshit does it piss me off when I hear people say things like, “You gonna day drink today?”  Or the horrible, horrible (usually from girls) “I was at day drink before and…”

Now don’t get me wrong, drinking during the day when it’s nice outside is phe-fucking-nomenal.  Not only are there a ton of great activities you can do, the weather is great, the girls are wearing less clothes and god it just feels good sometimes.  But shit, the term day drink(ing) is just so dumb.  It’s like saying instead of going out to dinner you went “night eating.”  Like somehow including the time of your drinking makes it anything different.  If I call you at noon and you’re slurring all of your words and dropping racial slurs every other sentence, I can connect the dots.  You don’t need a PhD to know if somebody has a BAC north of 2.0.

Listen, drinking is drinking, no matter what time it is.  Drinking a fifth of bourbon at 2pm and staggering around drunk outside is just mildly less confusing for you than doing so at night, not much more.  If you’re ashamed that you’re drinking 15 beers while its daylight on a weekend and have to give it some cool name, don’t do it.  Everyone’s got their vices, and some people just enjoy walking around shitfaced while normal people are at work and are being productive.  It’s obviously awesome, so embrace it and tell people you’re drinking.  Leave the time out of it.